Christianity?
Many of you may know that over the past couple of years I've struggled with my faith. While at no point did I really walk entirely away from it, I always believed in Christ and continued to attend church. But I felt artificial and so did the religion of christianity. The people I encountered seemed so hollow. I feel more uncomfortable around church people then any other group and I realized that, I it was no good. I'm beginning to realize that I'm embarassed about being a christian I'm embarassed by the things people do and have done in the name of Christ. I have problems with the hatred that some people propogate and it hurt me. I questioned why my grandfather died and why my parents got divorce and why i was haywood county a place that was so foreign. I had to start dealing with my prejiduces and fears, and my superficiality. but while I'm not sure i'll call myself a christian again, I do believe in Jesus and things are getting better for me and i'm more comfortable with the concept of loving people than i ever was before. so I know that some of you have been worried about me, and if you'd like to continue to you can, but things are better for me.
posted by JtotheSstaff @ 6:13 PM
2 Comments:
I totally understand where you're coming from; with everything that has happened in my family in the last year (and as my sister reminds me, it's not much in the grand scheme of things and not anything any worse than what any other family goes through), I let it really affect me. I didn't walk away from Christ, but I certainly held him at arm's length. And although I continued to go to church and Bible study and didn't question God outright, in my own quiet, passive way, I did. The verse in Thessalonians kept coming to mind - "Do not put out the Spirit's fire" - and it really got to me because I realized I let something inside me die. I had a lot of head knowledge, but my heart knowledge was lacking. I'm slowly starting to get back on track (it took going to the other side of the world), but I can understand where you're coming from. You know the answer is to pray constantly in order for restoration, but it's sooo hard to do it. Something's just blocking you. I'm there with you. I guess, all I know to say, is just keep trying? It's probably going to take a while, but yeah. That's what I got.
love, jordan m
Maybe you've heard this a lot...and i dont know details about why you feel distanced, but even if its hard please dont be distanced from a family of believers (church, campus ministry, bible study, small group, whatever). Gettin back to ECU i dont know exactly what you've gotten into....but something i've learned painfully over and over this semester is that there is no such thing as a Christian who is a lone ranger. For me, there were many times where i had fallen into sin and knew that i needed to repent before God at the beginning of different prayer meetings. I'd resist it for a long time, but i knew God was telling me to confess to my brothers in christ and ask for their prayer. I didnt want to and tried to reason "Isnt all that really matters that i confess before you God?" And the persistant response was that to really repent, i need to come clean to my brothers in Christ--since it tells us to do so in they bible, since i had committed to walking with these brothers, and lastely simply because God told me to. The ultimate effect is much humbling for me (the Bible also says to submit to one another, important in becoming like Christ) and also a realization that God made us in a way that we're really in this together. ANYWHO, i say all that as an example of why we need to be connected to really know Jesus more.
I dont know if that really has anything to do with your situation, so i'm sorry if it doesnt. Either way though i think thats good stuff for us all to think about...
But we definitely to hang sometime big dawg. Please let me know what i can pray for you about and whatnot!
L-Diggy
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