Good ole Conan...

Quotes from "Celebrity Secrets" skit on Conan O'brien. Celebrities come on tell some of their supposed secrets. Enjoy:

"People ask me if I'm as nice as I am in the movies. I say hey, 'what if life is a movie?' While they're thinking about that I yell 'cut' and then I run away."--Harrison Ford

"One day I called George Lucas up at three o'clock in the morning and I pretended to be Mark Hamill. He said, 'Harrison?' I said 'No, it's me Mark Hamill.' He said, 'Harrison, I know it's you.' I said, 'Well then you know wrong because it's Mark Hamill.' He sighed and said, 'okay Mark what do you want?' I really got him."--Harrison Ford

"When I agreed to make Apollo 13 I was under the impression that I would be playing Apollo Creed from Rocky. Those sons of *turkeys* tricked me!" --Tom Hanks

"The 1998 Oscars, I found myself in the bathroom in a stall, next to Tom Selleck. So I leaned over and I said 'looks like we're a couple of peeing Toms.' His angry silence is something I'll never forget."--Tom Hanks

"During the filming of Rocky III whenever I did a scene with Meredith Burgess, I pretended I was Batman, and he was the Penguin, and we were filming an episode of the old Batman TV show. It was fun to pretend."--Mr. T

"I remember one time I tried to pity this fool. He told me his name was Jeff. He was married. He pulled out his wallet and showed me three pictures of his kids; Kelly, Robert, Brittany. Real cute kids. Don't get too close man. It's hard to pity a fool if you get too close."--Mr. T

"I often dine with the queen, but to me she will always be simply 'Latifah.'"--Patrick Stewart

"If William Shatner ever pulls you into the bathroom and asks if you want to see the captain's log, just say no. I fell for that nine times!"--Patrick Stewart

"My favorite animal- the bald eagle. Not because it's bald-because it tastes good."--Patrick Stewart

"In the movie Sleuth I worked with the great Sir Lawrence Olivier. He was full of wisdom and one day said 'Michael, a truly great actor could step off a tall building and make himself fly like a bird.' Later he admitted he was trying to kill me."--Michael Cain

Share this with everyone. It brought me great joy.
--Luke